


Received

by QueenOfNewOrleans22



Category: Bon Jovi (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Angst, Fluff, Group chat, Humor, M/M, Texting, text fic
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-08-09
Updated: 2020-11-17
Packaged: 2021-03-05 23:21:23
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 11
Words: 7,036
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25793545
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/QueenOfNewOrleans22/pseuds/QueenOfNewOrleans22
Summary: In an alternate universe where the members of Bon Jovi aren't celebrities, they have a group chat.
Relationships: Jon Bon Jovi/Richie Sambora
Comments: 53
Kudos: 22





	1. Chapter 1

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don't know what this is but I wrote it.

**June 26th**

_LemonLemma has_ _added Thekingofswing to the chat_

_LemonLemma has added CptKidd62 to the chat_

_LemonLemma had added TheHitman to the chat_

_LemonLemma had added BasserLaser to the chat_

_\----------------------------------------------------_

_LemonLemma has named the group chat- My Best Friends_

**2:30 AM**

_LemonLemma-_ Isn't this great? Now we can talk together! 

**2:31 AM**

_TheHitman-_ I never asked for this. 

_LemonLemma-_ Oh, please. We all know that you get lonely! 

**2:34 AM**

_TheHitman-_ When I get lonely, I just call somebody. I don't think we needed a whole group chat. 

_LemonLemma-_ Oh, you're being so dramatic! 

_BasserLaser-_ Stop ending all of your texts with !, it's very repetitive. 

_TheHitman-_ Did you just forget what ! was called? 

_LemonLemma- !!!!!!!_

_BasserLaser-_ Nobody asked you, Dave. 

_TheHitman-_ You never answered my question 

**2:36 AM**

_CptKidd62-_ What the fuck is this? 

_TheHitman-_ Language. 

_TheHitman-_ It's a group chat that Lemma put together. Play along with it. 

**2:40 AM**

_LemonLemma-_ You're all so ungrateful. 

_BasserLaser-_ How so? Please enlighten us. 

_Thekingofswing-_ Thanks, Dave. 

**2:41 AM**

_BasserLaser-_ Suck-up. 

**2:42 AM**

_Thekingofswing-_ So I'm a suck-up for thanking Lemma? 

_BasserLaser-_ You bet. 

**2:46 AM**

_LemonLemma-_ Well, thank YOU, Richie, for realizing my genius. 

_Thekingofswing-_ Let's not go that far, buddy. 

**2:50 AM**

_LemonLemma-_ Anybody wanna play a game? 

_BasserLaser-_ No. 

_TheHitman-_ No. 

_Thekingofswing-_ Maybe. 

**2:52 AM**

_CptKidd62-_ Okay. 

_BasserLaser-_ Who's side are you on????

 _CptKidd62-_ Why are there sides? 

**2:53 AM**

_LemmonLemma-_ Knock-knock. 

_TheHitman-_ Leave me alone. 

**2:55 AM**

_Thekingofswing-_ What's the game? Or are we over that? 

**2:57 AM**

_LemonLemma-_ Does anybody know that game where somebody says one word and then the other person chimes in with their own word and we construct a whole story based on that? 

_LemonLemma-_ Or no? 

**3:00 AM**

_LemonLemma-_ Here, I'll start- There 

**3:01 AM**

_Thekingofswing-_ Was 

**3:02 AM**

_TheHitman-_ An 

_BasserLaser-_ Old 

**3:03 AM**

_TheHitman-_ Jon, you have to participate! 

**3:05 AM**

_CptKidd62-_ Woman 

_LemonLemma-_ None of you better finish this sentence or I'll murder you all.

**3:10 AM**

_Thekingofswing-_ WHO LIVED IN A SHOE. 

**3:12** **AM**

 _LemonLemma-_ I hate you all. 

_TheHitman-_ We're sorry, right guys? 

**3:13 AM**

_BasserLaser-_ lol no. 

**4:30 AM**

_LemonLemma-_ Now I got that stupid rhyme stuck in my head. 

**7:17 PM**

_Thekingofswing-_ Does anybody here like smooth jazz? 

**7:20 PM**

_CaptKidd62-_ What 

**7:22 PM**

_TheHitman-_ He asked if anybody liked smooth jazz. 

**7:23 PM**

_CaptKidd62-_ Thanks, Teek. But I rest my case. 

_CaptKidd62-_ What 

**7:45 PM**

_BasserLaser-_ I am quite fond of Bill Evans 

_Thekingofswing-_ I haven't heard him. But I can tell from his name that he's phenomenal. 

**8:00 PM**

_TheHitman-_ I just watched a clip of Mr. Evans. He's okay. 

_BasserLaser-_ Everybody's a critic. 

**8:05 PM**

_Thekingofswing-_ Does anybody know any good saxophonist teachers? 

**8:10 PM**

_CaptKid62- https://www.saxophone.org/teacher_

**8:12 PM**

_Thekingofswing-_ Thanks, Jonny. 

**8:30 PM**

_LemonLemma-_ Al, have you figured out what ! is called yet?


	2. Chapter 2

**June 27th**

Best Friend Group Chat 

**8:00 AM**

_Thekingofswing-_ I need twenty dollars. 

**8:05 AM**

_CaptKidd62-_ Why? 

_Thekingofswing-_ You'll judge me. You were last night. 

**8:06 AM**

_CaptKidd62-_ I swear that I won't judge you. 

_Thekingofswing-_ Okay. I managed to convince the guy who lives below us to give me saxophone lessons but he wants twenty dollars and I don't have any. 

_Thekingofswing-_ Please? 

**8:10 AM**

_CaptKidd62-_ Sure. 

_Thekingofswing-_ Thank you! 

**10:30 AM**

_TheHitman-_ Richie 

_TheHitman-_ Why are you taking saxophone lessons? 

**10:35 AM**

_LemonLemma-_ Can you teach me?? I always wanted to learn a new instrument but I'm afraid that Gracie would get jealous. 

**10:38 AM**

_BasserLaser-_ Who's Gracie? 

**10:40 AM**

_LemonLemma-_ My keyboard. 

**10:42 AM**

_TheHitman-_........

**10:45 AM**

_Thekingofswing-_ Am I still sleeping? 

**10:50 AM**

_CaptKidd62-_ This just in- Keyboards are sentient. 

_LemonLemma-_ Well, Gracie needed a name, because we spend so much time together. And that's such a pretty name, isn't it? 

_BasserLaser-_ Lemma, are you off your meds? 

**10:51 AM**

_LemonLemma-_ Ha-ha. 

**11:00 AM**

_TheHitman-_ I'm setting up a dating profile. 

**11:07 AM**

_Thekingofswing-_ Oh, yeah? What are you putting on there? 

**11:10 AM**

_TheHitman-_ This is what I have so far- 'Tico Torres, divorced but ready for new love, a part-time drummer who works in construction. Single father of four children, all of whom are out of the house.' 

**11:13 AM**

_Thekingofswing-_ Looks good! 

_Thekingofswing-_ Wait. 

**June 28th**

Best Friend Group Chat 

**3:45 AM**

_LemonLemma-_ GUYS I NEED HELP EMERGENCY PLEASE 

_LemonLemma-_ 911 SOMEBODY I WILL PAY YOU HELP ME

 _LemonLemma-_ I DON'T WANT TO DIE 

**4:00 AM**

_TheHitman-_ What are you on? 

_LemonLemma-_ PANIC HELP ME 

_Thekingofswing-_ David, chill. 

_LemonLemma-_ THWRW IS A VRICHET IN MY HOUSE 

**4:15 AM**

_CptKidd63-_ You misspelled whatever you were gonna say. 

_LemonLemma-_ Sorry. 

_LemonLemma-_ *There is a *cricket in my house. 

**4:20 AM**

_LemonLemma-_ THERE IS A CRICKET IN MY HOUSE AND I AM SCARED 

**4:21 AM**

_Thekingofswing-_ I can't help you. Jon kills all the bugs.

 _CaptKidd62-_ Yeah. But crickets are like the Godzilla of all bugs. 

**4:22 AM**

_TheHitman-_ Depends on how big it is. 

**4:23 AM**

_BasserLaser-_ Is it a baby? 

_BasserLaser-_ Because I could kill a baby. 

**4:25 AM**

_Thekingofswing-_ That baby cricket did nothing to you and neither did the adult so don't you dare kill it. 

_BasserLaser-_ I'd like to see you try and stop me. 

**4:30 AM**

_TheHitman-_ David, respond, please. 

_BasserLaser-_ Maybe he's trying to kill it. 

**4:32 AM**

_Thekingofswing-_ David would never willingly kill something. 

**4:35 AM**

_CaptKidd62-_ So, who's going over there to make sure that David isn't dead? 

_TheHitman-_ I will. 

**5:30 AM**

_TheHitman-_ I'm scarred for life. 

**5:32 AM**

_CaptKidd62-_ Elaborate? 

**5:35 AM**

_TheHitman-_ I started crying. 

_BasserLaser-_ Like 'I just stubbed my toe' crying or 'I'm watching the last hour of the titanic' crying? Because there's a huge difference. 

**5:36 AM**

_TheHitman-_ 'I'm about to die' crying. 

**5:37 AM**

_CaptKidd62-_? I've never seen you cry. Ever. 

**5:40 AM**

_TheHitman-_ It was very traumatic. 

_LemonLemma-_ I'll never be able to sleep again. 

_LemonLemma-_ Thank you, Tico, for saving me. 

_LemonLemma-_ It's a debt I'll never be able to repay. 

_LemonLemma-_ But it's appreciated dearly. 

_TheHitman-_ I suppose my username is appropriate for the situation.

**5:45 AM**

_TheHitman-_ That cricket couldn't even have been called a cricket. Do any of you know how many miles I had to drive to get that monstrosity to a place far enough that it wouldn't return? 

_Thekingofswing-_ I have twenty dollars. Will that pay for therapy? 

_Thekingofswing-_ Also, yay, you didn't kill it. 

**5:50 AM**

_BasserLaser-_ Did you happen to take a photo of it, for entertainment purposes? 

**5:53 AM**

_Thekingofswing-_ Totally unrelated, but also kinda related. A fly just flew straight at my face. It freaked me out for a minute.

 _CaptKidd62-_ Is that what that screaming noise I just heard was? 

**5:55 AM**

_TheHitman-_ I didn't take a picture of it, neither did Dave, but this is what kind of cricket it was- https://www.pestworld.org/pest-guide/occasional-invaders/camel-crickets/

**5:57 AM**

_LemonLemma-_ Oh god, that's gonna give me nightmares. 

**5:58 AM**

BasserLaser- Thanks, I hate it. 


	3. Chapter 3

**July 1st**

Best Friends Group Chat 

**5:30 AM**

_TheHitman-_ I just woke up from the most terrifying nightmare I've ever been through. 

_LemonLemma-_ The cricket? 

_TheHitman-_ The cricket. 

**5:32 AM**

_BasserLaser-_ Do you two need a support group or something? 

_LemonLemma-_ You're so hilarious. 

**5:33 AM**

_TheHitman-_ He is, isn't he? Too bad I forgot how to laugh. 

**5:35 AM**

_BasserLaser-_ Would anybody be willing to go to the store for me? 

_BasserLaser-_ I'm not in the mood for social interaction today. 

**5:36 AM**

_TheHitman-_ Then what do you call this? 

_BasserLaser-_ You guys don't count. 

**5:37 AM**

_BasserLaser-_ I don't think you four are even human. 

_LemonLemma-_ HE'S ONTO US, TICO. 

**5:40 AM**

_TheHitman-_ Well, I guess we have to move, again. 

**5:41 AM**

_BasserLaser-_ That's not the point. Will somebody PLEASE get me stuff from the store? I'll pay for it. You just have to get it. 

_LemonLemma-_ Not with that attitude. 

**5:42 AM**

_TheHitman-_ Why don't you ask somebody else? 

_BasserLaser-_ Yet again, social interaction. 

**5:43 AM**

_TheHitman-_ Oh, right. Sorry. 

_TheHitman-_ That was sarcasm, if you couldn't tell. 

**5:44 AM**

_BasserLaser-_ I could tell. 

**5:55 AM**

_BasserLaser-_ Please? I'll even pay you guys extra. 

**5:56 AM**

_LemonLemma-_ FINE. 

**5:57 AM**

_BasserLaser-_ Thank you. I'll call you when you're there, K? 

_TheHitman-_ Please get me some ice cream. I need some comfort food.

**July 2nd**

Best Friends Group Chat 

**11:30 AM**

_ThekingOfSwing-_ I think the apartment is haunted. 

_ThekingOfSwing-_ *know. 

**11:33 AM**

_Thekingofswing-_ I'm scared. 

**11:35 AM**

_CaptKidd62-_ Richie, just walk toward the light. 

**11:36 AM**

_Thekingofswing-_ What light? I can't see shit right now. My phone's about to die, too. 

_CaptKidd62-_ Richie, the light. 

_CaptKidd62-_ I knew I shouldn't have let you watch that movie. 

_Thekingofswing-_ You don't control me. 

**11:40 AM**

_CaptKidd62-_ I'm coming to get you. 

**11:42 AM**

_Thekingofswing-_ You were right. I shouldn't have watched that movie.

 _Thekingofswing-_ I'm hearing noises. 

**11:43 AM**

_Thekingofswing-_ Oh, wait, that's just Jon. 

**July 3rd**

Best Friends Group Chat

**6:17 PM**

_BasserLaser-_ What the hell did Jon and Richie do last night? 

**7:00 PM**

_LemonLemma-_ I don't know, but it sounds like they had a wild night. 

_BasserLaser-_ Why didn't they just use their personal messenger? 

**7:03 AM**

_LemonLemma-_ My question is if it was really Jon making those noises.

**8:30 AM**

_TheHitman-_ I'd appreciate some context to that situation! 

**10:12 AM**

_Thekingofswing-_ I watched a scary movie. 

_CaptKidd62-_ Even though I told him not to...

 _Thekingofswing-_ And then I got up to go get something to eat because I always get really hungry at night, 

_Thekingofswing-_ I though I saw this shadow run past,

 _Thekingofswing-_ And panicked. 

_CaptKidd62-_ I think that's an understatement. 

_CaptKidd62-_ He got scared because he thought a hand was going to grab him from underneath the bed. 

_CaptKidd62-_ So we slept on the couch.

**11:00 AM**

_BasserLaser-_ Is Richie actually a child? 


	4. Chapter 4

**July 3rd**

Best Friends Group Chat 

**2:27 AM**

_TheHitman-_ I have a date tonight, gentleman. 

**2:28 AM**

_LemonLemma-_ Congratulations. Who's the lucky gal? 

_TheHitman-_ Somebody who swiped right. 

_TheHitman-_ Or is it left? 

**2:29 AM**

_LemonLemma-_ I think it's right. Doesn't that make more sense? 

_TheHitman-_ Right, left, what does it matter? 

**2:33 AM**

_LemonLemma-_ Do you need some tips? 

**2:37 AM**

_BasserLaser-_ Do not accept tips from Lemma, it'll ruin whatever chance you have of this date being successful. 

**2:38 AM**

_LemonLemma-_ Rude. 

_LemonLemma-_ Anyways, do you want tips or not? 

**2:40 AM**

_TheHitman-_ I think I'll pass, but thank you. I need to find something nice to wear. A suit or something more casual? I haven't been on a date in years. 

_LemonLemma-_ Can I contribute? 

**2:41 AM**

_BasserLaser-_ Is there any way to ban David from this conversation? 

**2:42 AM**

_LemonLemma-_ Plain white shirt, black dress pants, perhaps a brightly colored tie? I've got a pair of nice shoes that you can borrow that I use for my recitals. 

**2:46 AM**

_BasserLaser-_ Surprisingly good advice. 

**2:47** **AM**

 _TheHitman-_ What about my hair? 

_LemonLemma-_ Comb it, but nothing else. Ladies love the sort of tame yet rough look.

**2:48 AM**

_Thekingofswing-_ I think it sort of depends on the woman actually. 

_BasserLaser-_ Yeah. It's like the clean-cut VS bearded kind of thing. 

**2:53 AM**

_TheHitman-_ So try hard but not too hard? 

**2:56 AM**

_CaptKidd62-_ Yes. And remember- confidence is key. 

**3:00 AM**

_TheHitman-_ Thanks for the advice, everybody. I'm gonna go get ready and try and steady my nerves. 

**6:17 AM**

_TheHitman-_ Alright, guys. I'm gonna go out. Wish me luck! 

**6:20 AM**

_CaptKidd62-_ Godspeed. 

**6:25 AM**

_LemonLemma-_ Lots of luck coming from here! 

_BasserLaser-_ Good luck, Teek. May it not be a disaster like last time. 

**6:27 AM**

_Thekingofswing-_ I'm sure the lady will be blown away! 

_Thekingofswing-_ In a good way. 

**6:30 AM**

_BasserLaser-_ I'm so lonely. 

**6:33 AM**

_LemonLemma-_ Oh no. Do you need a friend? 

_BasserLaser-_ I need a girlfriend. 

**6:35 AM**

_BasserLaser-_ Why am I not dating or married yet? 

_LemonLemma-_ You just haven't found 'your one' yet. It's only a matter of time. 

**6:40 AM**

_Thekingofswing-_ Does anybody know any good scary movies? 

_CaptKidd62-_ No, Richie. 

**6:43 AM**

_BasserLaser-_ Am I too mean? 

_LemonLemma-_ You're just a product of circumstances. Nothing wrong with that. 

**6:45 AM**

_LemonLemma-_ But you are mean, yes. 

**July 4th**

Best Friends Group Chat 

**7:12 AM**

_CaptKidd62-_ How did the date go? 

**7:15 AM**

_LemonLemma-_ IT'S TOO EARLY FOR THIS JON 

_TheHitman-_ No, no, it's okay. Let's relive my misery. 

_Thekingofswing-_ Oh, boy.

 _BaserLaser-_ Wait, let me get my popcorn. 

**7:16 AM**

_TheHitman-_ It was awful. 

_TheHitman-_ She dragged me all around the city and then got mad when I asked to stop because my feet were hurting. I paid for a nice fancy reservation but she didn't want to go. We went dancing. It was terrible. I let her drive my car and she got me a speeding ticket. I'm never going on a date again. I'm dying alone. 

**7:20 AM**

_LemonLemma-_ You won't die alone. You have us! 

_TheHitman-_ I appreciate that. After all, I'm happy just as I am, so why change it? 

**7:25 AM**

_BasserLaser-_ Agreed. Besides, love isn't the point of life, is it? Right, guys? 

_TheHitman-_ I can't help but notice that Richie and Jon aren't contributing to this conversation. 


	5. Chapter 5

**July 5th**

Best Friends Chat Group 

**7:52 AM**

_Thekingofswing-_ I want you all to know that if I die from embarrassment tonight, it was for a good cause. 

**8:00 AM**

_LemonLemma-_ What are you gonna do? 

_TheHitman-_ And why do I get the distinct feeling that the saxophone thing is somehow involved? 

**8:01 AM**

_Thekingofswing-_ It's not just a 'thing'. 

**8:02 AM**

_TheHitman-_ But am I right? Because that's the most important part. 

_Thekingofswing-_ Maybe. Yes. No. I have to prepare! 

**8:03 AM**

_LemonLemma-_ Aw, you're nervous. The first time I played piano on stage, I was terrified, but then I realized that nobody's opinion mattered, just my own. And then I got a standing ovation, because my confidence just sort of seeped into my music, and they could hear how hard I was trying. 

**8:06 AM**

_The Hitman-_ That's kinda inspiring. 

**8:07 AM**

_Thekingofswing-_ Yeah. But it would've been better if they tossed tomatoes at you but you were too into it to give up. 

**8:10 AM**

_TheHitman-_ I have vague memories of a man playing sax in a movie but I can't remember which one it was. 

**8:12 AM**

_LemmonLemma-_ That's because you're old :) 

**8:15 AM**

_TheHitman-_ Nobody asked you. 

_Thekingofswing-_ Take comfort in the fact that Al is older than you. 

**8:16 AM**

_TheHitman-_ Oh, thank God. 

**8:20 AM**

_LemonLemma- https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=A1dY6OkPb7E_

**8:21 AM**

_TheHitman-_ I couldn't make it through the full scene because I am very confused as to why you would go through all that trouble to copy and paste that monstrosity. 

**8:22 AM**

_Thekingofswing-_ Weak. I have better hair than that. 

_CaptKidd62-_ Yes, you do.

 _Thekingofswing-_ No, YOU do. 

**8:25 AM**

_LemonLemma-_ Don't hate on what you don't understand. 

_LemonLemma-_ I'm sending this to Alec. He'll understand. 

**8:30 AM**

_LemonLemma-_ He didn't understand. 

**8:35 AM**

_BasserLaser-_ What the actual FUCK is that and why is he so oily? 

**8:36 AM**

_LemonLemma-_ Yet again DON'T JUDGE WHAT YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND 

**8:37 AM**

_BasserLaser-_ DON'T YELL AT ME, please.

 _TheHitman-_ Everybody calm down. This is getting ridiculous. I feel like I'm in high school again. 

**8:40 AM**

_TheHitman-_ So, anyways. 

_BasserLaser-_ What? 

_TheHitman-_ I went out yesterday and I got a....friend. 

**8:43 AM**

_LemonLemma-_ A friend ;)? 

**8:45 AM**

_TheHitman-_ No. 

_LemonLemma-_ Oh. 

**8:46 AM**

_TheHitman-_ A furry friend. 

**8:47 AM**

_LemonLemma-_ YOUGOTADOG

 _BaserLaser-_ What kind of dog? 

**8:48 AM**

_TheHitman-_ It's a pitbull. 

**8:50 AM**

_LemonLemma-_ Awwwwww

 _BasserLaser-_ Much better than romantic love. What's the name? 

**8:51 AM**

_TheHitman-_ Lucky. 

_BasserLaser-_ How original. But a dog! Congratulations.

 _LemonLemma-_ Now I want a dog. Or maybe a fish.

**8:55 AM**

_BasserLaser-_ Dave, how do you expect to take care of an animal? You don't even remember to take out the trash routinely. 

_LemonLemma-_ Stop saying smart things that make sense.


	6. Chapter 6

**July 6th**

Best Friends Chat Group

**9:32 AM**

_LemonLemma-_ I have a question.

 _TheHitman-_ No. 

**9:35 AM**

_LemonLemma-_ I didn't even ask my question. 

_TheHitman-_ The answer is still no. 

**9:36 AM**

_CaptKidd62-_ I'm probably going to regret this but what's the question? 

**9:40 AM**

_LemonLemma-_ How quickly do you think you can figure out what's so wrong about this paragraph? It looks so ordinary, you would think nothing is wrong with it at all, and, in fact, nothing is. But it is unusual. Why? If you study it and think about it, you may find out. But I am not going to assist you in any way. You must do it without coaching. No doubt, if you look at it for long, it will dawn on you. Who knows? 

**9:42 AM**

_TheHitman-_ Did you copy and paste that from the internet? 

_CaptKidd62-_ I don't like this. 

**9:46 AM**

_BasserLaser-_ He's trying to act all mysterious again. Little does he know that I am onto him. And I will snap him out of his attempts with these five simple, magic words. 

_BasserLaser-_ Lemma, stop being an idiot. 

**9:48 AM**

_Thekingofswing-_ The inner workings of his mind are an enigma. But seriously, something looks wrong with that paragraph. 

_TheHitman-_ It's going to give us insane. Don't look at it, or you'll be bothered forever by the endless possibilities. 

**9:50 AM**

_BasserLaser-_ Too late. 

**9:51 AM**

_CaptKidd62-_ Sorry, guys. I shouldn't have asked. 

**9:52 AM**

_TheHitman-_ Okay, let's be serious. What's wrong with that paragraph? 

_Thekingofswing-_ I think there's a misspelling. 

**9:53 AM**

_BasserLaser-_ But W.H.E.R.E.?

**9:55 AM**

_LemonLemma-_ That's what you guys get for joking about me. Now, you have to suffer. 

**10:00 AM**

_BasserLaser-_ Jeez, you take things personally. 

**2:12 AM**

_Thekingofswing-_ On another note...Tico, did you seriously name your dog 'lucky'? 

**2:16 AM**

_BasserLaser-_ Don't remind me. He is so unoriginal. 

**2:20 AM**

_TheHitman-_ I changed it. That was his temporary name. It is now, wait for it... 

**2:21 AM**

_TheHitman-_ Barkely. 

**2:22 AM**

_CaptKidd62-_ You know what? I'll take it. That's actually kinda cute. 

_BasserLaser_ \- I dread the day that Tico has kids.

**2:30 AM**

_Thekingofswing-_ I feel like Kenny G whenever I play sax. Also, Barkley is such a stupidly adorable name. 

**2:37 AM**

_LemonLemma-_ Uhhh, did everyone forget about me?? ALSO 

_LemonLemma-_ Super cute name, Tico. Sounds like something that I would name a dog. 

**2:40 AM**

_TheHitman-_ Does that mean I have to change it? 

**2:45 AM**

_LemonLemma-_ THAT'S IT. If you have an old car, and then you keep replacing parts until nothing's original anymore, do you have a new car or is still the same car? 

**2:50 AM**

_TheHitman-_ I suppose that I brought that one upon myself. 


	7. Chapter 7

**July 9th**

Best Friends Group Chat 

**2:52 AM**

_TheHitman-_ I'm going to the park for some exercise with Barkley, who wants to join me? 

_BasserLaser-_ Nobody wants to join you two in your workout sessions. I saw enough of your leg warmers LONG ago. 

**2:55 AM**

_LemonLemma-_ You wear leg warmers, Tico? 

**2:56 AM**

_TheHitman-_ He was joking, David. 

**2:57 AM**

_LemonLemma-_ Oh. 

**2:58 AM**

_TheHitman-_ Nobody? Nobody at all? Richie, Jon? 

**3:01 AM**

_CaptKidd62-_ Richie's at his band practice, so he doesn't have his phone on right now. 

**3:02 AM**

_TheHitman-_ Will you come with me? I need distraction. 

_LemonLemma-_ From what? 

**3:03 AM**

_TheHitman-_ The exhaustion. Point is, I need a spotting partner, and the only purpose that Barkely serves is to make my day a little happier.

**3:05 AM**

_LemonLemma-_ I'm busy. 

**3:07 AM**

_BasserLaser-_ Doing what? The only productive things you do are practice piano and go to the store for me when I don't feel like it. 

_LemonLemma-_ You're so rude. 

**3:08 AM**

_LemonLemma-_ I'm practicing for my next recital. I'm playing Rachmaninoff, Sonata 1. 

**3:10 AM**

_TheHitman-_ I'll be there. And what are YOU doing, Alec? 

**3:12 AM**

_BasserLaser-_ Nothing really. I don't want to exercise. I'm sorry. 

**3:15 AM**

_TheHitman-_ You're all just lazy. 

**3:20 AM**

_CaptKidd62-_ Okay, you know what? I'll do it. 

**3:23 AM**

_TheHitman-_ Excellent. Meet me at the park down by your parents' house, and come prepared. 

**3:25 AM**

_CaptKidd62-_ Prepared for what?? 

**3:30 AM**

_CaptKidd62-_ Tico? 

**4:20 AM**

_LemonLemma-_ I'm booorrreeedd 

_LemonLemma-_ Alec talk to me 

**4:23 AM**

_LemonLemma-_ ALEC ALEC 

**4:25 AM**

_LemonLemma-_ Alec please 

**4:26 AM**

_BasserLaser-_ Why are you so clingy? It's like my ex girlfriend all over again. 

**4:27 AM**

_LemonLemma-_ Normally I would bother J or T but they aren't responding to my texts so....

**4:35 AM**

_BasserLaser-_ How about Richie? 

**4:36 AM**

_LemonLemma-_ He isn't responding either. He must still be in band practice or something. 

**4:37 AM**

_BasserLaser-_? Okay ? Aren't you supposed to be practicing? 

**4:38**

_LemonLemma-_ I'm tired. My fingers are aching. NO, my hands are aching. 

**4:42 AM**

_BasserLaser-_ That's no excuse. 

_BasserLaser-_ David stop using me as a distraction and finish your practice. 

**4:43 AM**

_LemonLemma-_ I'm not a child. You can't boss me around. 

**4:45 AM**

_BasserLaser-_ As long as you act like a child, everybody shall treat you like a child. And while we're on this topic, please use a fork when you eat, it makes everybody uncomfortable when you use your fingers. 

**4:46 AM**

_LemonLemma-_ You don't control me. 

**4:50 AM**

_BasserLaser-_ I'll tell Tico. 

**4:51 AM**

_LemonLemma-_ You wouldn't. 

**5:37 AM**

_TheHitman-_ He would. 

**5:40 AM**

_LemonLemma-_ Tattletale. 

_LemonLemma-_ How was yours and J's exercises? 

**5:42 AM**

_TheHitman-_ Horrendous, horrific, horrible. Dreadful, dire, dark. I would rather go through all those gross torture traps in the Saw movies than do that again. I collapsed and Jon had to drag me. Barkely was having the time of his short life. The sun was hotter than its ever been before and both of us went through our wates. An angry swan chased us. And then this little kid threw rocks at us. I scraped my knee. My thighs hurt. I died. 

**5:43 AM**

_BasserLaser-_ Huh. My day was actually pretty good compared to yours. That's a first. 

_LemonLemma-_ And that's why my motto is 'Don't exercise.' 

**5:55 AM**

_TheKingofswing-_ Why is Jon crying in bed? 

**5:56 AM**

_TheHitman-_ Look through today's chat. 

**5:58 AM**

_Thekingofswing-_ Oh...Yeah, I would be crying too. A little boy threw rocks at you guys? 

**6:00 AM**

_TheHitman-_ Yeah. They hurt. But then Jon told the kid that if he continued that Jon would, and I quote 'Tie his little spaghetti arms into a knot and wrap him around a tree.' And that made it all worth it. Well, almost.

 _Thekingofswing-_ I would've paid to see that. 

**6:03 AM**

_CaptKidd62-_ Why did I agree? I'm not leaving the apartment for the rest of my life. 

**6:05 AM**

_LemonLemma-_ You're still coming to my recital though, right? 

**6:08 AM**

_CaptKidd62-_ I wouldn't miss it for the world.


	8. Chapter 8

**July 10th**

Best Friends Group Chat 

**10:28 AM**

_BasserLaser-_ I need two trash bags, a shovel, and a reliable friend. 

**10:30 AM**

_TheHitman-_ I am none of those things, except confused and concerned.

**10:32 AM**

_Thekingofswing-_ Sorry, I'm not a reliable friend :\ I do have trash bags, though. 

_TheHitman-_ Don't encourage him. 

**10:35 AM**

_BasserLaser-_ What do you think I'm doing?? 

**10:40 AM**

_TheHitman-_ Burying a body. 

_BasserLaser-_ What 

_TheHitman-_ You're one of this people that could kill somebody and nobody would be surprised. 

**10:45 AM**

_BasserLaser-_ Where's Lemma? He would help me, unlike you two. 

**11:00 AM**

_TheHitman-_ He's a nervous wreck about his recital. 

_Thekingofswing-_ Why? He's played much harder pieces before. 

**11:15 AM**

_TheHitman-_ I dunno. But the poor guy is worried sick. Jon went over there to help him, didn't he? 

**11:16 AM**

_Thekingofswing-_ Yup. Haven't heard from either of them since. 

**11:17 AM**

_BasserLaser-_ Why did you send Jon over? He's terrible at comforting people. 

**11:18 AM**

_Thekingofswing-_ Because Tico and I were busy and you weren't answering my calls. Or Jon's, for that matter. 

**11:28 AM**

_BasserLaser-_ I was busy. 

**11:33 AM**

_TheHitman-_ I'm still not convinced that you didn't kill somebody. 

**11:35 AM**

_BasserLaser-_ And that's your opinion. 

**11:36 AM**

_Thekingofswing-_ I'm hungry. 

**11:37 AM**

_BasserLaser-_ Where's the nearest home depot? I need a shovel. 

**11:40 AM**

_TheHitman-_ What do you plan on doing with that shovel? 

**11:42 AM**

_BasserLaser-_ I'm not telling. You'll make fun of me. 

**11:43 AM**

_TheHitman-_ I swear that I won't. Richie swears, too. 

**11:44 AM**

_Thekingofswing-_ I guess. 

**11:45 AM**

_BasserLaser-_ Truth is...I'm a gardener. 

**11:46 AM**

_Thekingofswing-_ He's lying. Alec killed somebody. 

**11:50 AM**

_TheHitman-_ Be nice, Richie. Is that true? Are you really a gardener, Al?

**11:53 AM**

_BasserLaser-_ Yes. 

**11:54 AM**

_TheHitman-_ That's adorable. 

**11:55 AM**

_BasserLaser-_ Great, know you're making fun of me. 

**11:58 AM**

_TheHitman-_ I swear I'm not. It's just so unexpected. Good for you, for getting a hobby. 

**12:00 AM**

_Thekingofswing-_ 'Alec John Such, motorcycle shop owner and freelance gardener.' 

**12:05 AM**

_BasserLaser-_ Shut up, Richie. 

**12:06 AM**

_Thekingofswing-_ No, you shut up.

**12:10 AM**

_LemonLemma-_ I can do this. 

**12:11 AM**

_TheHitman-_ Oh, Hi Dave. 

**12:12 AM**

_LemonLemma-_ Hi, Tico! 

**12:13 AM**

_LemonLemma-_ Anyways...

**12:14 AM**

_LemonLemma-_ I can do this. I am a great, skilled piano player with lots of talent and lots of good hair. Nobody is going to judge me. They will applaud me for my skills and Mr. Sergei Rachmaninoff will look down from the Heavens and shed a tear from all the awesomeness. 

**12:15 AM**

_LemonLemma-_ There's no doubt now. I'm a virtuso, a master, an expert, a genius. In a few short hours, I am going to onstage and perform an amazing song. I, David Bryan Rashbaum, will rock that stage and leave everybody speechless. 

**12:18 AM**

_BasserLaser-_ Oh god, his head is getting big again. Jon, what did you tell him???

**12:28 AM**

_CaptKidd62-_ I told him to stop being an idiot. 

**12:30 AM**

_TheHitman-_ Good for you, David. 

**12:33 AM**

_Thekingofswing-_ Unrelated but on a similar note, has anybody seen my clip-on tie?

**12:34 AM**

_BasserLaser-_ I have not been to your guys' apartment in months, why would I know why your clip-on tie is? 

**12:35 AM**

_CaptKidd62-_ No, no, NO. You are not wearing a clip-on tie to an event like this. 

**12:36 AM**

_TheHitman-_ I'm with Jon on this one. Please don't wear a clip-on tie. 

**12:37**

_Thekingofswing-_ I'm gonna wear it anyways. 

**12:38 AM**

_LemonLemma-_ And you guys refer to ME as the child? 

**1:02 AM**

_BasserLaser-_ Well, you literally just had mental breakdown over a piano recital, so...

**1:05 AM**

_LemonLemma-_ At least I'm not a gardener. 

**1:06 AM**

_TheHitman-_ Now, now, kiddos. Let's not attack each other. 

_BasserLaser-_ I'm older than you are. 

_TheHitman-_ Well, you don't act like it. 

**1:10 AM**

_Thekingofswing-_ Did everybody forget about my dilemma? 

**1:13 AM**

_BasserLaser-_ It's not that we forgot. It's just that nobody cares. 

**1:14 AM**

_LemonLemma-_ Are you still hungry, Richie? 

**1:17 AM**

_Thekingofswing-_ I was hungry about two hours ago. 

**3:45 AM**

_TheHitman-_ Barkely just stole my chicken. 

**3:50 AM**

_TheHitman-_ He just stole my replacement chicken. 

**3:55 AM**

_LemonLemma-_ R.I.P to Tico's chicken. It will be missed. 

_Thekingofswing-_ Wait are we talking about live, feathered chickens or dead chickens? 

**3:56 AM**

_Thekingofswing-_ Nevermind. I just realized how improbable it is for somebody who lives in a Condo, much less Tico, to own an actual alive chicken. 

**4:00 AM**

_CaptKidd62-_ Alec, do you still need a reliable friend? 

**4:20 AM**

_BasserLaser -_ Yes, please. Come quick the birds are eating the seeds!

 _TheHitman-_ Why don't you just cover the seeds up? 

_BasserLaser-_ I did. Crows are smart bastards, though. 

**4:27 AM**

_LemonLemma-_ R.I.P to Alec's seeds, they will be missed. 

**5:00 AM**

_TheHitman-_ For those of you who are in this group, then I feel the need to tell you guys that the recital is in three hours. Taking in mind the number of accidents that this group has, and because SOMEBODY is prone to losing his shoes, I think everybody should start getting ready. 

_BasserLaser-_ I feel personally attacked. 

**5:15 AM**

_BasserLaser-_ Funny, irrelevant question- Does anybody have shoes to spare? Size doesn't matter. 

**5:30 AM**

_Thekingofswing-_ It appears that I have been defeated. 

_TheHitman-_ In what? 

**5:33 AM**

_CaptKidd62-_ He's wearing a real tie, and taking it very badly. 

**5:55 AM**

_THeHitman-_ I'm picking everybody up, by the way. 

**6:00 AM**

_BasserLaser-_ But what if I want to drive myself? 

**6:10 AM**

_TheHitman-_ Then drive yourself, Al.

**6:12 AM**

_BasserLaser-_ Nah. That'd be boring. 

**7:20 AM**

_TheHitman has sent a call to BasserLaser_

_Call failed_

**7:23 AM**

_TheHitman has sent a call to BasserLaser_

_Call was declined_

**7:26 AM**

_TheHitman-_ Alec, why did you decline my call? 

_BasserLaser-_ Because you're rushing me! I have to make myself look nice. 

**7:27 AM**

_TheHitman-_ I'm sure you look fine. We're going to be late. 

_BasserLaser-_ Give me five minutes. 

**7:33 AM**

_TheHitman-_ It's been six minutes. I even gave you an extra minute.

 _BasserLaser-_ Okay OKAY I'm coming. 

**8:00 PM**

_TheHitman-_ Oh no, I think I'm lost. 

**8:01 AM**

_TheHitman-_ Guys. I'm lost. 

**8:03 AM**

_Thekingofswing-_ Don't worry, Alec's coming to get you. 

**8:06 AM**

_BasserLaser-_ Tico where are you? 

_TheHitman-_ Near the bathrooms. 

**8:07 AM**

_BasserLaser-_ Okay, I found him. We're coming back. 

**9:10 PM**

_CaptKidd62-_ Okay, I'm enjoying this very much as much as the next guy, but how long is this recital supposed to be? 

_Thekingofswing-_ I think about twenty minutes is left. Maybe ten.

**10:45 PM**

_LemonLemma-_ I want to thank everybody for coming. I know it was long and that watching me play piano isn't very exciting, but it means a lot, guys. 

**11:00 PM**

_TheHitman-_ You're welcome. Everybody enjoyed it greatly. Alec even cried. 

**11:10 AM**

_BasserLaser-_ Hey, in my defense, there was a lot of dust in that place. 

**11:12 PM**

_TheHitman-_ No, there wasn't. Don't be fooled, any of you. 

**11:15 AM**

_LemonLemma-_ Oh, trust me, I'm not. 


	9. Chapter 9

**July 12th**

Best Friends Group Chat 

**12:42 AM**

_BasserLaser-_ I have an idea. 

_BasserLaser_ has changed the group name from 'Best Friends Group Chat' to 'Alec's Gardening Group'. 

**1:00 AM**

_LemonLemma-_ You asshole, change it back. 

**1:03 AM**

_BasserLaser-_ No. 

**1:05 AM**

_LemonLemma-_ Fine. 

_LemonLemma_ has changed the group name from

'Alec's Gardening Group' to 'Best Friends Group Chat'. 

**1:08 AM**

_BasserLaser-_ You know what? 

_BasserLaser_ has changed the group name from

'Best Friends Group Chat' to 'It's not all about you, DAVID'. 

**1:10 AM**

_LemonLemma-_ I can't believe you're doing this. 

_LemonLemma_ has changed the group name from

'It's not all about you, DAVID' to 'Alec should be banned from this group chat'.

**1:12 AM**

_TheHitman-_ Oh, great, another petty argument.

**1:15 AM**

_LemonLemma-_ In my defense, Alec started it. 

**1:17 AM**

_BasserLaser-_ But you're contributing to it. 

_TheHitman-_ If you guys are gonna argue over the name of the chat then at least pick good names. 

_TheHitman_ has changed the group name from

'Alec should be banned from this group chat' to 'I am sick of everybody's shit.' 

**1:20 AM**

_Thekingofswing-_ Ha. You guys weren't expecting me, were you? 

_Thekingofswing_ has changed the group name from

'I am sick of everybody's shit' to 'King Richie S. Sambora reigns supreme'. 

**1:23 AM**

_CaptKidd62-_ Let me just interject myself...

_CaptKidd62_ has changed the group name from

'King Richie S. Sambora reigns supreme' to 'Why am I here?' 

**1:25 AM**

_LemonLemma-_ PLEASE STOP CHAnging It 

_LemonLemma_ has changed the group name from

'Why am I here?' to 'Best Friends Group Chat'. 

**1:26 AM**

_LemonLemma-_ AND THAT IS FINAL 

**1:43 AM**

T _heHitman_ has changed the group name from

'Best Friends Group Chat' to 'Best Fiends Group Chat'. 

**1:52 AM**

_Thekingofswing-_ That's accurate. 

**1:53 AM**

_BasserLaser-_ I like it. I applaud you, Tico. 

**1:56 AM**

_TheHitman-_ Thanks. 

**2:00 AM**

_LemonLemma-_ I can live with that. I guess. 

**2:03 AM**

_Thekingofswing-_ That's the spirit. 

**2:05 AM**

_CaptKidd62-_ Good thinking. 

**3:00 AM**

_LemonLemma-_ Do you guys remember that band we put together back in the 80s? 

**3:07 AM**

_BasserLaser-_ Oh, god,don't remind me of that. We all had such terrible fashion senses. 

**3:08 AM**

_Thekingofswing-_ Wait guys hold on. I think Jon still has a picture from those days. 

**3:10 AM**

_TheHitman-_ We all thought we were so cool with our mullets and torn shirts. The other bands must've hated us. 

**3:20 AM**

_CaptKidd62-_ https://ibb.co/1s7D52z

**3:22 AM**

_Thekingofswing-_ I love it. 10\10. That's beautiful. 

**3:23 AM**

_TheHitman-_ I'm old. Can someone explain to me how to do the copy and paste thing?? 

**3:27 AM**

_BasserLaser-_ Hold down the beginning of the link posted here and then, when the option comes up, click 'copy' and then paste it onto your search bar. But I...don't recommend it with this picture. 

**3:32 AM**

_LemonLemma-_ Why is Jon's shirt half off? Why is Tico looking at the camera like that? What kind of pose is Alec trying to pull off? Why do I look so angry? WHY DOES RICHIE LOOK LIKE THE MOST NORMAL ONE?

**3:36 AM**

_TheHitman-_ The regret is strong with this picture. How could we ever wear such things? 

**3:40 AM**

_CaptKidd62-_ I think my mom took that picture...

**3:42 AM**

_BasserLaser-_ I wonder what would've happened if we hadn't quit. 

**3:48 AM**

_Thekingofswing-_ I don't know. We would probably be rich or something.


	10. Chapter 10

**July 14th**

Best Fiends Group Chat 

**12:52 AM**

_LemonLemma-_ It's been awhile. 

**1:00 AM**

_TheHitman-_ You just talked to me on the phone for half an hour so, no, it hasn't. 

**1:04 AM**

_CaptKidd62-_ You sound bitter. 

**1:07 AM**

_TheHitman-_ That's because I am. 

**1:12 AM**

_LemonLemma-_ Why? I am an absolute joy to talk to. 

**1:15 AM**

_TheHitman-_ Yes, you are. Except for the fact that you talked to me for half an hour about what kind of bread you should buy. It all tastes the same, David. 

**1:16 AM**

_LemonLemma-_ No, it doesn't. Some brands make the bread too doughy, and others make the bread too dry. There's brands that make it taste too much like wheat, and there's brands that make it taste like nothingness. 

**1:17 AM**

_LemonLemma-_ And then there's the bread that tastes like salt. 

**1:25 AM**

_CaptKidd62-_ What bread are you talking about? 

**1:26 AM**

_LemonLemma-_ I don't know what the name is but it tastes like salt. 

**1:30 AM**

_TheHitman-_ David says that all the low- fat bread tastes like salt. Don't listen to him. He just hates healthy bread. 

**1:37 AM**

_LemonLemma-_ I wouldn't hate healthy bread if they made it taste like anything else but salt. 

**1:40 AM**

_CaptKidd62-_ Today in this cursed group chat- David says low fat bread tastes like salt. 

**1:48 AM**

_LemonLemma-_ Because it does. 

**2:00**

_Thekingofswing-_ I've never had bread that tasted like salt. 

**2:10 AM**

_LemonLemma-_ Well, good for you. 

**2:17 AM**

_BasserLaser-_ Me neither. 

**2:30 AM**

_Thekingofswing-_ Why are we talking about bread that tastes like salt? 

**2:35 AM**

_TheHitman-_ Change of subject- Everybody, share recent news! 

**2:40 AM**

_CaptKidd62-_ Global warming is getting worse. 

**2:43 AM**

_TheHitman-_ How about some cheerful news? 

**2:47 AM**

_TheHitman-_ Anybody? 

**3:03 AM**

_LemonLemma-_ I've got some news!!

**3:10 AM**

_TheHitman-_ What is it? 

**3:11 AM**

_LemonLemma-_ Well it's not global news but it's news. Jon and I have been invited to our high school reunion. 

**3:20 AM**

_BasserLaser-_ Oh, yeah. High school reunions suck. 

**3:27 AM**

_TheHitman-_ Really? Is this true, Jon? 

**3:30 AM**

_CaptKidd62-_ Unfortunately. 

**3:36 AM**

_Thekingofswing-_ I have some very fond memories of high school. 

**3:37 AM**

_BasserLaser-_ What were you guys like in high school? The teachers probably hated both of you. 

_BasserLaser-_ No offense. 

**3:40 AM**

_LemonLemma-_ I was a musical nerd. Jon was just a nerd. 

**3:41 AM**

_LemonLemma-_ We were both awkward and gangly. 

**3:42 AM**

_LemonLemma-_ Everybody threw dodge balls at us. 

**3:43 AM**

_LemonLemma-_ Whenever we played dodgeball, Jon and I got pelted and were always the first ones out. 

**3:44 AM**

_LemonLemma-_ Sometimes, we hid in the broom closet. 

**3:45 AM**

_LemonLemma-_ I wore glasses. It was an awful time. 

**3:50 AM**

_TheHitman-_ You wore glasses? 

**3:55 AM**

_BasserLaser-_ You two were nerds? Huh, the more you know. 

**4:00 AM**

_CaptKidd62-_ I'm not going. 

**4:10 AM**

_LemonLemma-_ Yes you are! Do I have to remind you of my blackmail?

**4:11 AM**

_CaptKidd62-_ There's such a thing as private text, Lemma. 

**4:12 AM**

_BasserLaser-_ What blackmail? 

**4:17 AM**

_TheHitman-_ I don't know, but I think I know. 

**4:20 AM**

_CaptKidd62-_ Fine, I'll go. 

**4:28 AM**

_Thekingofswing-_ Oh, Jonny. I'm sorry, but I think this is going be very fun for us on your guys' behalf. 


	11. Chapter 11

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> What's the word for wanting to die but being afraid to do it, even though the unknown of what lays beyond would be better than the everyday pain?

**July 16th**

Best Fiends Group Chat 

**1:00 PM**

_BasserLaser-_ Quick! Everybody say who your favorite person is. 

_TheHitman -_ My mom. 

**1:03 PM**

_Thekingofswing -_ Jon!

_**1:05 PM** _

_CaptKidd62-_ Richie. 

**1:10 PM**

_LemonLemma -_ You are :) 

**1:12 PM**

_BasserLaser-_ well, FINALLY 

_BasserLaser-_ Anyways. 

**1:13 PM**

_BasserLaser -_ What's everybody's dream vacation? 

**1:15 PM**

_TheHitman -_ Getting away from all of you. 

**1:16 PM**

_LemonLemma -_ Well, that's not nice. 

**1:18 PM**

_CaptKidd62-_ David. I need you to message me the directions to the high school. 

**1:20 PM**

_BasserLaser -_ Answer the question. All of you.please. 

**1:22 PM**

_LemonLemma -_ Preferably to the Maldives. 

**1:25 PM**

_TheHitman -_ Maldives? Weird. 

_LemonLemma -_ But why? 

_TheHitman -_ Because you're terrified of heights. 

**1:31 PM**

_Thekingofswing -_ Somewhere snowy so I can cuddle with Jon ;) 

**1:32 PM**

_CaptKidd62 -_ Private chat is a thing, Rich. 

**1:35 PM**

_BasserLaser -_ ON TOPIC 

**1:37 PM**

_TheHitman -_ Stop yelling. You know that David gets flustered. 

**1:38 PM**

_BasserLaser -_ I'm messaging in all caps. Not yelling. 

**1:40 PM**

_LemonLemma -_ Same thing. 

**1:42 PM**

_Thekingofswing -_ I know ;) 

**1:43 PM**

_TheHitman -_ You know what? 

**1:45 PM**

_Thekingofswing -_ No, I'm talking to Jon. 

**1:46 PM**

_CaptKidd62-_ Private chat. 

**1:48 PM**

_BasserLaser -_ I've always wanted to go to Colorado, personally. 

**1:50 PM**

_LemonLemma -_ I can't even think of Colorado without thinking about that one movie where Kathy Bates does the *thing* with James Caan's ankles. 

**1:52 PM**

_TheHitman -_ Kathy Bates can't hurt you, Dave. 

**1:55 PM**

_CaptKidd62 -_ I remember when we went to go see that together at that old cinema. 

**1:56 PM**

_LemonLemma -_ the scene is replaying over and over in my head. 

**1:58 PM**

_Thekingofswing -_ Ah, I love that movie. 

**2:00 PM**

_BasserLaser -_ All of you have the attention spans of toddlers. I'M TAKING EVERYBODY TO COLORADO YOU IDIOT BASTARDS. 

**2:05 PM**

_LemonLemma -_ WHAT 

**2:07 PM**

_TheHitman-_ I think Dave summed that up pretty well. 

**2:10 PM**

 _CaptKidd62_ has sent a call to _BasserLaser_

_Call has been accepted_

**2:12 PM**

 _Thekingofswing_ has joined the call 

**2:15 PM**

 _TheHitman_ has joined the call and sent an invitation over to _LemonLemma_

**2:16 PM**

 _LemonLemma_ has joined the call. 

**2:30 PM**

_Thekingofswing -_ So, this is like a decided thing? We're just gonna go? 

**2:32 PM**

_BasserLaser -_ Well, obviously we gotta wait a few days for everybody to get their things sorted out. I got the cabin booked for Monday. We have a week there in the snow, nothing and nobody but us. I got my tax refund, if anybody's wondering. I decided to be nice. 

**2:35 PM**

_CaptKidd62-_ Nice? That's a big understatement. And David, I need you to message me the directions, please. 

**2:40 PM**

_Thekingofswing -_ I need to pack. I need to figure out where my snow shoes are. 

**3:00 PM**

_LemonLemma -_ Check our messenger, Jon. Okay, but what if I get frostbite?! What if I die? 

**3:05 PM**

_TheHitman -_ David you're not going to die. 

**3:07 PM**

_LemonLemma -_ So says you. 

**3:10 PM**

_BasserLaser -_ Maybe this was a mistake. 


End file.
